My Dad is a Chronic Forwarder.
You know the type – he gets emails from thrice-removed acquaintances, then shoots these vague, sometimes amusing, more often trite or senseless emails to 20 or more people in his contacts list. I’m among those 20+ people.
A while back he sent me this fun little jaunt about taxes. What better way to celebrate April 15th than to share a depressing, cynical, and utterly painful poem about how the government taxes us into helpless submission – in life and death?
Tax his land,
Tax his wage,
Tax his bed in which he lays.
Tax his tractor,
Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes is the rule.
Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.Tax his ties,
Tax his shirts,
Tax his work,
Tax his dirt.Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he tries to think.Tax his booze,
Tax his beers,
If he cries,
Tax his tears.Tax his bills,
Tax his gas,
Tax his notes,
Tax his cash.Tax him good and let him know
That after taxes, he has no dough.If he hollers,
Tax him more,
Tax him until he’s good and sore.Tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in which he lays.
Put these words upon his tomb,
‘Taxes drove me to my doom!’And when he’s gone,
We won’t relax,
We’ll still be after the inheritance TAX!!
Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL License Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Perm it Tax
Gasoline Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax),
IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax),
Liquor Tax,
Luxury Tax,
Marriage License Tax,
Medicare Tax,
Property Tax,
Real Estate Tax,
Service charge taxes,
Social Security Tax,
Road Usage Tax (Truckers),
Sales Taxes,
Recreational Vehicle Tax,
School Tax,
State Income Tax,
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA),
Telephone Federal Excise Tax,
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fe e Tax,
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge
Tax,
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax,
Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges
Tax,
Telephone State and Local Tax,
Telephone Usage Charge Tax,
Utility Tax,
Vehicle License Registration Tax,
Vehicle Sales Tax,
Watercraft Registration Tax,
Well Permit Tax,
Workers Compensation Tax.STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?
Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago,
and our nation was the most prosperous in the
world.We had absolutely no national debt, had the
Largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.What happened?? Can you spell ‘politicians!’
And I still have to ‘press 1′ for English.
Thanks, Pappy! In the ultimate act of cooperative cynicism, I’ve posted this jolly rant in our “Mood Boosters” category. Happy Tax Day!
