A concise, 20-point primer for the English language (and the only one you’ll ever really need)

My dear friend and mentor, Mr. Kevin Lane Skarritt of Acorn Creative, is many things…not the least of which is a fellow Word Nerd.

Since we Word Nerds are always looking for tools to keep us pistol-sharp and grammatically correct, I give to you the following 20 guidelines for using (and abusing) the English language.

Most common rules broken in the English Language.

1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don’t start a sentence with a conjuction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague.
6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9. No sentence fragments.
10. Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.
11. One should never generalise.
12. Don’t use no double negatives.
13. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
14. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary.
15. Never use big words when a diminutive one would suffice.
16. Kill all exclamation marks!!!!
17. Use all words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
18. Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.
19. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
20. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

Thanks, Kev! It be cools of you, as a cunning linguist, to share your smarts with us, at Epiphanies, Inc, etc.!!!!!!!! (And your tops in our book – no matter what other people like to say about you & whatever your into!)

If you’re a stickler about quality content and would like to invite biz-building strategies into your inbox, sign up for our ezine, The Inciter!